The other day I overheard my four year old singing “Hakuna Matata…it means no worries, for the rest of our days…” While it brought a smile to my face, we all know that life is not worry-free, especially right now. In the wake of the COVID-19 virus, there’s a collective, pervasive uncertainty that we all feel. But while anxiety threatens to grip us, we don’t have to let it. As I tell my child clients, we can’t let worry “be the boss.”  We can work with our anxiety, and use it to take action, rather than internalizing it or shooing it away. We can make the best of—and even enjoy—our current limitations. If you’re looking for some practical ways to manage anxiety during this difficult season, here are a few to consider.

1. Be good to your body. Anxiety is a physiological experience. When we’re under stress, it’s crucial that we care for our bodies. But many of us turn to substances or sweets, or let exercise go out the window. And by doing this we sabotage our ability to cope. Prioritize a healthy sleep routine, good eating habits, and exercise— even a short walk around the block can release mood-boosting brain chemicals. Consider trying a relaxation app such as Calm or Headspace. And most importantly, breathe: attentive, deep breathing activates our parasympathetic nervous system, getting us out of that “fight or flight” mode, slowing our heart rate and helping us feel calmer. Kids can do it too! One of my favorites is “hot chocolate breathing”: have your child imagine smelling a cup of hot chocolate and then blowing it to cool it off.

2. Focus on what you can control. One of the things this pandemic has taught us is that we don’t have as much control in our lives as we think we do. But we do have choices in how we respond, both practically and mentally; and taking action is much more productive than worrying about things we can’t change or predict. We practice health precautions, learn facts from reliable sources such as the CDC, and communicate them to our kids in age-appropriate ways. (For helpful articles on talking to your kids about the coronavirus, see this article or this one). We focus on the things we know that are true based on our guiding values or faith tradition. We don’t have to engage in that debate on social media or get swept up in someone else’s feelings of panic. We remember that feeling worried doesn’t mean our fears will actually come to fruition. We replace “what-ifs” with “even-ifs.” We do what we can.

3. Unplug. With news updates coming out every hour, you may feel an impulse to check them and stay up-to-date. But this can be very anxiety-provoking. Set a time (or two) of day when you catch up on necessary news, or limit your exposure to an hour or less per day. Disable social media notifications if you need to, and set aside some time to be device-free. Refresh your spirit through solitude, meditation, or prayer. And, get outside: being in nature can be remarkably effective at lowering our stress.

4. Keep a routine. In an experience of any crisis or change, routine is key. This is especially true for children, who are more susceptible to anxiety during times of major change, and who feel more secure when their circumstances are predictable. Fixed mealtimes, bedtimes, and work/rest/play times can be helpful anchor points. Consider posting a daily or weekly schedule so that your family knows what to expect. Keep the same bedtime every night, even if there isn’t work or school the next day, and stick to as much of your old routine as you’re able to. If you’ve got the extra challenge of homeschooling for the next few weeks, consider instituting a regular “quiet time” for your kids where they have to read, draw, or do puzzles while you work or take a break.

5. Notice beauty. One benefit to being homebound is that our world just got a whole lot smaller. In some ways, this can open our eyes to the beauty in our own backyard. The other day I was sitting on our porch and noticed how blue the sky was, and how chatty the birds were. Their obliviousness was comforting, and it took my mind off of the stress of the day. Break out your camera (the old-fashioned kind, if you have one) and take pictures of an oak tree, an azalea, your kids in their element. To use a therapeutic term, you’re practicing mindfulness. You’re being “all here.”

6. Know your limits. If you’re in the healthcare industry or other sectors that require long shifts right now, it’s especially important that you take care of yourself. You are a human being. Speak up if you need to trade in a shift or take a break. It’s important that those on the front lines are physically and emotionally equipped to work toward eradicating this pandemic, so be sure to take care of you. And if you’re stuck at home with limited meal options, keep your expectations realistic. A repeat of boxed mac and cheese won’t hurt anyone!

7. Play. Of course I’m going to say this since I’m a play therapist, but playing is important to our mental health. It gives us a break us from our whirring minds, connects us to our bodies, and stirs our imagination and creativity. And it connects us to one another. Take time out for recreation: shoot hoops in your driveway, build a lego tower, paint, play board games, laugh.

8. Express it. We can’t always “fix” the source of our anxiety. We just don’t know how this thing will play out, and our concerns are real—fear isn’t necessarily irrational. But we can use art, writing, music, or simple conversation to give our anxiety an outlet and lessen its power over us. You don’t have to be a “creative person” per se to do art or make something (although I believe we are all creative in some way). When we can externalize what’s internal, we can find comfort and perspective.

9. Help others. While we are saddened by the lives lost to COVID-19 in our country, we do have a lot to be grateful for. We have fantastic scientists, health care workers, and hospitals. Most of us have (with the exception maybe of toilet paper!) access to what we need—food, clean water, and quality medical care. But this is not the case for all. Turning our attention outward to the needy and vulnerable in our community and the world at large can be a real source of perspective and joy. It can also teach our children that we are not meant to live in isolation, but in relationship. Do a grocery run for an elderly neighbor, send flowers to an overworked nurse, support a trusted relief organization, or, if you’re in a faith community, ask how you can, wisely and safely, serve someone less fortunate.

10. Do “social distancing” as needed, but not “emotional distancing.” It can be easy to focus on our own difficulties or inconveniences in this season, and we can fall into a pattern of negative thinking. If you internalize your fears or frustrations, they can send you in a downward spiral. Talk out your concerns with someone, or use the benefit of technology to engage with distant loved ones. We need one another. And if you feel overwhelmed by anxiety, get help. Many therapists like myself are offering tele-therapy to their clients. You don’t have to walk through this alone.

    Some anxiety is to be expected in these times, but it doesn’t have to have the last word. Let’s keep our eyes open. Like when I looked to up to see a pileated woodpecker high in our tree this afternoon, we just might find these limitations to be fruitful in unexpected ways. We just might learn the value of slowing down.